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The Art Of Flirting

The art of flirting is old, with ties all the way back to the turn-of-the-century. Probably earlier but we're not here for a history lesson. Here are some tips and tricks to up our flirting game!


Confidence is key to having a successful flirting game. If you are too insecure and lacking in confidence, both men and women will pick up on it and move away. The secret behind building your confidence level and wowing everyone in the room is to fake it till you make it. With experience and practice, your confidence will grow and soon you won’t be faking it at all. It will just come naturally all by itself and wow everyone there.

Project From The Diaphragm

When you speak from the throat, your voice is higher, and it is easier to sound all squeaky. When you use your diaphragm, you have to take deeper breathes which work to calm you and keep you focused—making you seem more confident and sure of yourself. Truthfully, you'll probably be less likely to trip over your own words when using your diaphragm.

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Be Yourself

This might sound like it flies in the face of the whole confidence thing, but bear with us here. If you are pretending to be someone else, your date will pick up on that and label you as insincere or shady. If you are yourself, there are less fake details to remember and your personality can come out to play. After all, you want your date to like the real you and not some persona you invented. Just hide the crazy till after the wedding.

Eye Contact

Everyone can agree that being stared at from across the room by a stranger is creepy, and all those staring people need to cut it out. But there is something flirtatious and seductive about meeting someone’s eyes from across the room. Maybe she blushes and looks down before shyly peeking to see if you are still looking. Maybe it takes him a while to catch on, but once he notices you, he comes right over and introduces himself, buys you a drink and treats you to a wonderful evening.

Sense Of Humor

Having a flirty and playful sense of humor will get you out of trouble and into plenty of fun if you know how to use it. Don’t rely on cheesy one-liners or self-deprecating humor. It might be wise to crack a relevant joke or two and gently tease your date in a fun and humorous way. Being able to laugh and play is a crucial component to a healthy and successful relationship of any length.

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Actively Listen

Try to actively listen to what your date has to say. Really listen and engage with them, ask questions and keep the conversation going. Sometimes, we all just want someone who will listen to us and really hear what we have to say. Guys in particular like this but women are especially turned on when they find a man who really knows how to listen without offering advice or trying to steal the conversation.

Passive Touches

They really aren’t passive, but they aren’t weird or creepy either. When he is telling you a joke, laugh and gently touch his arm or his shoulder. When you sit down on the couch with her, sit a little close and let your leg brush hers. Gently stroke his hand when you give him your number. Kissing a lady’s hand used to be a common greeting, but this move should be reserved for the really charming when you know it won’t creep her out.


Men and women both love compliments. Not the empty cheesy kind that can apply to just about anyone, but the genuine and unique-to-you compliments. Tell her that her winged eyeliner is stunning and she has a musical laugh. Tell him that his cologne smells wonderful and his eyes are bluer than the ocean. She will notice that you noticed all her effort to look good and he will be on a cloud. People remember compliments for months and years down the road so make it a good one.

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Ask Questions

If you meet in a sports bar and you know nothing about sports, don’t be afraid to ask that hot guy all about it. He will be thrilled you are showing an interest in his thing and will happily fill you in on all the key aspects. If you meet a cute girl at the bookstore, ask her what her favorite book or genre is and if she can recommend something for you to read this weekend. Who knows? Maybe she will be up for a meet-up at a café` to drink tea and read together.

Introduce Yourself

This is a bold move, but it is also the easiest and simplest. If you see someone you like, just go up to them and introduce yourself. If they like your spunk, they will stick around to chat. If they have a date waiting for them or simply aren’t interested, they will let you know. The worst that can happen is they aren’t interested; the best is a wide open door of possibilities.

Body Language

When flirting you want to learn some basic body language cues and practice looking for them. If your date is leaning toward you, facing you or their feet or hips are facing you, then they like you and are interested. If they cross their arms, turn away or don’t engage in much eye contact then the chances are good that they are not interested in you. It is especially important for men to pick up on the subtle body language cues from women to avoid stepping on their toes and putting them into any uncomfortable positions.

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Timing Is Everything

After your initial move, don’t linger. Get their number and move off to mingle with other people or head to a completely different location. It gives you an air of being busy and not clingy. Just make sure to send them one last smoldering look before making your exit.

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