Signs Of A Healthy Relationship
Healthy relationships aren't what we see in TV shows and movies. And they're often not what we see from loved ones either. Read on for the truth, so you can make better judgement calls.
Here’s the thing, healthy couples know how to communicate. Now, this is tricky, because communication styles differ so much, and words can be interpreted in many different ways.
For example, one person may say that something hurts their feelings, but the other person may take that to mean that something makes them feel uncomfortable, and that they just don’t like it, as if they’re being overly sensitive.
What healthy relationships do with regards to communication is learn how the other interprets messages. Maybe they know that certain words work. Or they know not to use other words because it gets misinterpreted too often. Some even write each other letters, because it comes off clearer than outright communicating verbally!
The point here is that communication is hard to grasp, but it’s something that healthy couples learn about each other. Soon, they are able to approach situations with tactics that they know help them stay on track, clearly and effortlessly.
Understanding And Acceptance
Most people enter relationships thinking about the many ways that they will change their partner. Lines like “He’s a very messy person, but I will change that soon,” are commonly spoken among friends.
But this is actually quite detrimental to a relationship, and healthy couples know that. Here’s why: people are already putting their best foot forward at the beginning of a relationship, they’re already doing things they normally wouldn’t do, in order to impress their new partner. Chances are that messy guy is actually “cleaning up” before his girlfriend visits him, she just doesn’t see that part. She sees that it’s messy all the time.
Turns out, it was worse before, but she’s none the wiser.
And the sooner she realizes that this is just the way he is, and that this is what she’s signing up for, the better off she’ll be.
People don’t like being forced to change their ways. They like to be inspired into making the decision themselves. This is why healthy couples last: they lead by example, and they learn from one another equally. No one is forced into becoming something they’re not.
Compassion Goes A Long Way
In the same vein, compassion is of utmost importance in any relationship, especially romantic ones. It’s what helps you see things from the other person’s point of view. And in doing so, it improves your understanding, and helps you come to solutions in a quicker, nicer way.
For example, if a couple is having issues because one of them is having feelings of insecurity leftover from a previous relationship, that’s not something to be angry over. That person’s partner would be wise to show some compassion and understanding. Maybe listen to their partner, share some stories of lessons learned, and make it perfectly clear that they don’t need to feel insecure in this relationship.
Doing so will amount to a deeper understanding of one another, as well as a more intimate dynamic, where displaying vulnerability is celebrated rather than being ridiculed.
Knowing When to Let Things Go
Healthy couples also know that not everything is worth discussing in lengthy detail. If your partner is particularly messy and constantly leaves dirty dishes in the sink, it’s not wise to pick an argument over it, is it? There are bigger fish to fry, so to speak.
It doesn’t mean that behavior should go unmentioned, or unchecked, it just means that a light joke about it is enough to raise awareness. And if that doesn’t work, lead by example. Leave their dishes in the sink, and take care of yours exclusively. See what happens then!
On the other hand, if you’re lying, or keeping secrets, or betraying your partner in some way, then your partner has every right to call you out on that. An argument is inevitable at that point.
The Art of Arguing
Speaking of arguments, knowing how to argue is an art form in and of itself. Most people assume that arguments end in tears, that it involves plenty of yelling and hurt feelings. Maybe mean words spoken, words you can’t take back.
But the thing is that arguments don’t have to be that way. In fact, in healthy relationships, they never do.
You see, it’s now about how much you argue, it’s about how you do it. An argument can consist of a few simple lines to share your standing, your feelings, your point of view. And it can involve stepping away before things get heated. It can involve a few hours of time apart just to gather perspective and regain control of emotions. And it can certainly end in a hug, a kiss, and a solution to the problem.
Knowing How to Compromise
And speaking of solutions to arguments, let’s not forget compromises. Most people assume that to compromise is to lose. You sacrifice something for the greater good of your relationship. And eventually, after several “sacrifices” you begin to feel… like you’ve lost a part of yourself. Like you’ve stopped being true to who you are.
Healthy relationships don’t view it that way. In a good dynamic, compromises are only reached when both parties do not and cannot agree on one solution to an issue. And this should happen pretty irregularly. Most of the time, happy, healthy couples see eye to eye on things.
More so, when compromises are reached, they are approached in a way that makes them lose as little as possible. They never agree to something they can’t commit to.
Finally, healthy couples know how to have fun, and laugh together. They know that the good times are what life is all about. It’s what matters the most, what builds the love and intimacy. Rather than constantly talk about serious topics, or handle to do lists, they know how to make light of things, and look for the good in every situation together.
This is why healthy relationships last. They know how to make it easy to be together. They know how to joke around and be the best of friends.