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Best Blonde Jokes

Read our list of best jokes about blondes - we promise you will have fun. If you're blonde - these are only jokes, don't get mad!

Jigsaw puzzle

Why did blonde get really excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said "2 to 4 years".

Blondes in a hole

Two blondes fell down a hole. One asked "It's dark in here, isn't it?". The other replied, "I don't know. I can't see."

Phone number

The blonde calls me and says "What's your phone number? I can't find it!"

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Magic mirror

A blonde, a fat brunette and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says "I look fat" and dies. The brunette says " I look skinny" and dies. The blonde says "I think..." and dies.


How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Monday.


How does a blonde kill a fish? By drowning it.


Why were there 17 blondes standing outside the pub?

Because the sign said you have to be 18 to enter.

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What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn?

Nothing, they're both fictional characters.


How did the blonde die while raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.


A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I don't know who is the dad of the other one!"


A blonde asked her friend, "Why does my brother have two sisters and I only have one?"

Busy blonde

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

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What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

I wonder if it's mine.

Biggest breasts

Why does the blonde have the biggest breasts in the third grade?

Because she's 18.


How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Tell her she's pregnant.

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